getting re-acquainted with possibility

Ok. Clearly it’s been much too long since I’ve posted here, because: 1) my automatic log-in to WordPress had reset itself, and 2) I had absolutely NO recollection of my log-in information. 😦

It’s been hard for me to write in the space lately… so much is happening, shifting, changing minute-by-minute these last few weeks. And it occurred to me this morning that the reason it’s hard to write here is that it’s hard to blog about being a person of the present when most of my waking hours have been focused on envisioning and planning a bold new future for my daughter; and putting old issues to bed by giving them a name and letting the past go.

So much of where my mind and heart have been lately has been about flirting with new possibilities, unforeseen opportunities for my daughter and coincidentally for myself (and my time). It has been terrifying and exhilarating. I feel like in just a few short moments, a space in my heart opened up and shouted out a “Hallelujah!” – and I’ve been ashamed to acknowledge it… First, that I feel guilty for the relief that’s flooded me; and second, that I had stopped listening to that nook in my heart for so long that I had forgotten it was there. (More on this in future posts, I’m sure.)

So on a Thursday afternoon, with plans for the future put aside for now, I’m sitting on my front porch listening to bickering birds and squirrels in my neighbor’s yard, watching a steady stream of garage sale hunters pile around the corner, and enjoying the warm sun on my feet.

And I feel hopeful. Content. Present.

Full of possibilities and excited to experience each moment as this beautiful summer unfolds.

 

april love

April and I may not have started off on the right foot, but I’ve definitely come around.

After a very, very long (cold, cold) winter, I’ve been down with a bit of Spring Fever. So naturally, I was a bit impatient for the glory of spring and warm weather; but there’s something refreshing about snow on a Tuesday, and then sun and 75-degrees just a few short days later.

Here’s what I’ve come to love about April, even though it’s almost over:

• Early sunrises with a chorus of chattering birds.
• The squirrels are out foraging and the birds are busy building nests.
• The bounty of sun, fresh breezes, emerging buds and early bulbs – without having to worry about how many times I decided to skip the gym and go to Starbucks (read: sweaters are still necessary).
• It’s perfectly acceptable to wear black or dark colors and not look like I’m going through an existential phase.
• Starting the day on the front porch with a cup of coffee, wrapped up in a cozy quilt.
• Cuddling under an extra blanket on the bed, but not running the furnace to keep the house warm.
• A new rainbow umbrella.
• Sparkling puddles and big fluffy clouds.

I love that April is a beautiful reminder that everything changes: day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute.

That transition is chaos and it can become something spectacular.