Ok. Clearly it’s been much too long since I’ve posted here, because: 1) my automatic log-in to WordPress had reset itself, and 2) I had absolutely NO recollection of my log-in information. :(
It’s been hard for me to write in the space lately… so much is happening, shifting, changing minute-by-minute these last few weeks. And it occurred to me this morning that the reason it’s hard to write here is that it’s hard to blog about being a person of the present when most of my waking hours have been focused on envisioning and planning a bold new future for my daughter; and putting old issues to bed by giving them a name and letting the past go.
So much of where my mind and heart have been lately has been about flirting with new possibilities, unforeseen opportunities for my daughter and coincidentally for myself (and my time). It has been terrifying and exhilarating. I feel like in just a few short moments, a space in my heart opened up and shouted out a “Hallelujah!” – and I’ve been ashamed to acknowledge it… First, that I feel guilty for the relief that’s flooded me; and second, that I had stopped listening to that nook in my heart for so long that I had forgotten it was there. (More on this in future posts, I’m sure.)
So on a Thursday afternoon, with plans for the future put aside for now, I’m sitting on my front porch listening to bickering birds and squirrels in my neighbor’s yard, watching a steady stream of garage sale hunters pile around the corner, and enjoying the warm sun on my feet.
And I feel hopeful. Content. Present.
Full of possibilities and excited to experience each moment as this beautiful summer unfolds.